Okay, I'll admit it, I have no inspiration to review this movie. It was that bad. Not in a fun, campy, Godzilla vs Mecha-Godzilla way either. This was just bad. And I'm not the only one who thinks so: critics gave it two-three stars (according to Netflix's critic reviews), but they said very not-nice things about it. Let me list the problems I had with the movie:
1. Josh Hartnett sleeps with every female in the movie, except the crazy lady and the dead girl. Which is sorta OK, but not really. He's not James Bond, and he should know better. (Especially as he gets caught and the girl he has feelings for gets really mad at him, ruining his one relationship.)
2. Hillary Swank is not believable as a pretty rich girl. Maybe that's my personal bias coming through, but I think she has a horse-face and is not attractive. Thus, her role as "rich girl who slums in seedy bars picking up casual-sex partners" just didn't fly for me. She was believable in Million Dollar Baby because you could see her as a boxer, getting her face punched a lot. She just doesn't work for me as the vixen.
3. The plot is VERY murky throughout the whole movie, then is resolved VERY suddenly by an old affair, an illegitimate child, a weird painting, a boyhood friend (who has no previous screen time and may or may not have mental issues), and a crazy lady with an axe. (It's confusing trying to explain it, I know!) I know it's based on a fictional book and not reality, but the crazy lady was a minor character in one previous scene... then suddenly we know that she's the killer, and we know all this back-story about why she snapped and brutalized a random girl! (Maybe reading up on Hugo will help you understand her ranting; Gwynplaine is referred to a few times.)
4. The plot seemed to me like large chunks were cut out between the book and the film. It skipped around a lot, and the writers expected the audience to keep up with random, new characters and sub-plots. The only way I can describe it is that the book originally translated to a five-hour movie, and they cut it down to two. All those little bits that help a plot flow along seemed to have been cut out.
5. We seemed to focus a lot on the seedy side of the Dahlia's life. I think movie producers (or the author, James Ellroy) over-dramatized her personality a little. There is no evidence that she worked as a prostitute, just that she had numerous dates and a love of life. You can take that to mean the girl is a free spirit or a slut, whichever you want. Add to the fact that she was trying to become an actress, and a jaded mind could easily portray her in a negative light. But whether she was or not makes no difference to me, until a movie goes on and on about it with no censorship... (we even get to see some of a "nudie picture" that she allegedly made, which I would have called porn and didn't need to see at all)
Final Summation: I want those two hours of my life back. Seriously. Don't waste your time on this movie. If you want a sexy, convoluted 1940s thriller, go rent LA Confidential. That's a much better movie.
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